4th Visit to Mustang Ranch

Today we visited for the 4th time the Mustang Ranch, home of the 55th Iraqi Army Brigade. Our visit produced a much more receptive SSG Murrell. Finally I am beginning to warm up to the IA soldiers and their demanding nature. Our intention is to refrain from giving anything to them, but our trips are beginning to rival that of Santa Claus (mohamed claus?). When we pull into the gate we are greeted with smiling faces and excited waves, almost like visiting an orphanage of children looking for a home.

During the first few trips we all took many photos, with promises of bringing prints of our photos. Today I brought 7 photos that I had taken with the soldiers, making the mistake of handing them all to the first IA soldier I saw that I know. I should have known that he would take it upon himself to hand them out. But I did gain a friend there, improving his "wasta," or hook-up. I take a lot of photos, so I intend to bring some photos on every visit, but if you view my photo album, you can see that there are lots of soldiers who would like a picture.

It is astounding to see that these guys really do mimic much of what we do. So, we use all of our
military bearing around them, making sure we don't let them see any disrespect to our officers or theirs. When we arrived today we found that they had added canopies to their turrets, much like ours.

During my particular part of our visits to Mustang Ranch I head straight to the commo section, a ten foot by ten room where all 7 or so of the commo soldiers sleep and work. Today the commo SGM, a former radar operator during the Sadam era, greeted me with enthusiasm. But at the moment I opened their door, I knew immediately what it was that I had forgotten, antacid and pepto for the SGM. I instantly felt guilty for making a promise that I had failed to keep. Laying on the floor at the back of the room was the Jundee with the massive tooth ache. I had tried to figure out a way to assist him, but failed to find a solution (he is the short guy with green eyes in the middle of the photo with the surprisingly large smile). Fortunately the jundee with the bad tooth is going on leave tomorrow where he will get a chance to see a dentist, at his own expense of course.

The typical part of the visit today came from Jaba. Doc Montes had acquired many medical supplies for the IA, which were locked up by order of Jaba as soon as he saw them, included were some pepto tablets. Lets not forget the box of honey buns that DC, our supply NCO had acquired, those disappeared too.

We really do have to be careful about giving the IA stuff. The commo SGM also wants me to bring him some face cream because he says his commo officer (sa-id), Mulaazim Ashraf (lieutenant), makes him wake up all night to do communications checks, causing black bags under his eyes. He finally got me to tell him that stuff costs money when he asked me for some "beetamanz." Huh? This one took me a while. Finally he started showing me his muscles, much like a 5 year old would show off his biceps. I nearly hurt myself laughing when he started mimicking superman. I finally figured out what he wanted: vitamins.

The 'not-so-highlight' of my day came when I wandered into the IA's motorpool to get a glimpse of what they have going on there. I must have been mistaken for a doctor or a medic. I was immediately surrounded by a group of IA soldiers with some concern for one of their older Jundees. I didn't know what was going on, as soon as the older man started unbuckling his pants I started exclaiming "dude, what are you doing?" Then the poor man showed me his hernia; I never want to see that again. He had it for a few days apparently, with no notion from his unit to fix it. The best he got from them is to go on leave and pay for it, about 500 bucks, a month and a half salary for him... Something else that seriously needs to be fixed with the IA.

Despite his obvious misery, the hernia victim's friends still had time to make jokes at his expense, much like any group of soldiers. One of his comrades looked at me with a grin and said what was perhaps two of his twenty English words, "no sex!" I couldn't help myself, and decided to practice some of my Arabic, "Zowich, laa, laa!" (wife, no, no), as I held up my hands in a mimicking manner. I instantly felt bad when the hernia victim's laughs turned to pains.

Right before leaving, I witnessed the IA doc carrying the medical supplies back to his office, hopefully some progress there. As it turns out some of the Jundees got some honey buns, but I'm sure Jaba broke his fast from Ramadan with the honey buns, or has by now since the sun has gone down.

Okay, I know I'm in the mood to write tonight, must have been the shot of "shock coffee," which we have in ample supply. I want to finish with the 'ha ha' I got from my boss yesterday.

"So there we were", preparing to leave the wire when the order came to lower our Rhino's, a part of our crew systems. This requires us to unbuckle and climb down from the truck, something not so easy to do wearing all that protective gear.

I looked at Major Brott sitting next to me in the TC spot, and through our intercom system I asked him if he wanted to shoot "rock, paper, scissors" for it.

Looking at me with a grin, he covered his rank with his hand and said, "how bout we flip for it?"

I'm sure the expression on my face reflected that I already knew where this was going as I started opening my door.

Showing me what was under his hand with a smile Major Brott exclaimed, "oh hey, I guess I win, I'm a Major!"

Perhaps I should reconsider this OCS thing so I could one day win at "flipping" for it. Since I'm the lowest ranking on our team I won't be playing that game again.

Have a great week and hold down the home front for us...